I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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