Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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