So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
