you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
