are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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