i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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