Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Randomize
