I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
