if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize