Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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