i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
