it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Drake has all the answers
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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