Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize