dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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