Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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