Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
