I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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