Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
