Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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