FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
