i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Such a big mess for such a small penis
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
