More tranny stories later!
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Randomize
