so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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