ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
