the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
