My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize
