Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
