Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
