I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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