Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
