from now on my penis is your penis
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
