My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
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Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.