Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.