She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.