I wish I could punch you in the face.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
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