I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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