You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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