is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
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Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
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Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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