I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize
