did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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