organizing the empties. That sober.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
