If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
are you so shy because you have an std?
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
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