K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Randomize