Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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