i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Randomize
