I'm gonna have a badass scar
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
