and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize