I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
You took a bar mat shot.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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