Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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