I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
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I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
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Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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