Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
