I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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