I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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