Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Randomize
