The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
