Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Randomize
