I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Randomize