Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Found the puke drawer
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
We need to get me chipped asap
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
