If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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