There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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