Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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