Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
What a dumb baby whore.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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