hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
