I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
